I enter my bathroom, put the latch on. While preparing for a bath I stare myself in the mirror. Completely blank. Why do I do this every day? I think while staring myself. Do I look for some fresh scars on my face? Or do I have to keep myself assured for that I still don’t look so ugly that people would start loathing me? Since ages I have been doing this but around 2-3 years back I landed up to a conclusion which seemed most appropriate as of now. I guess I look for some kind of growth and its further prospects in me. Huh.. I still wonder where did I come up with this thing? Grrrowth…he he he he…..!!!! I dug myself deeper, may be to prove my own self wrong. But after not finding any strong argument to negate my theory I started with thinking over it again. Do I look myself to elicit some kind of physical growth in me, ‘cause it has been happening at a very high pace ? Or do I look myself with an expectation of some kind of growth within me everyday? But then I realized that I came up with this whole “GROWTH” theory just because of the fact that how I did not grow at all for like 18 years and suddenly I grew from 0 to 21 in just 3 years. I was hating myself right now. Why did I have to device a theory for such a normal activity that almost every girl and guy of my age do everyday. Although they do it because they have much weighted reasons than mine to do so (like pimples, rashes, chest hair, etc.) . but then, thinking myself as a sane person, I took my thought process to a next level.
Now what has to be the reason for this sudden growth?
a) is it because of the whole new type of weird people I have come across lately
b) is it because I have been making new friends lately
c) is it because I entered a relationship recently
d) or is it because I had compartmentalized my life all these years and very recently the walls between them broke
I guess I should start by eliminating the options…...NOW, I have been meeting strange people lately….and now, I really know how to tolerate and tackle them….so this CAN be true.
Hhhhmmmmmm…….second is true too…….in fact it has helped me build a whole new castle of hypocrisy for myself ( am kinda proud of that).
Ok, now this point on relationship is undeniable (taking arguments from my previous few discussions with myself)
And I guess I‘ve managed this, whole wall breaking incidence and intermixing of my different lives, well .
SOOO………..
Why does this feel like a G.K. question to me? Why am I having this feeling that each of these pieces fit in my puzzle almost exactly? Rather, why these fresh options are coming to my mind right now? And why the hell am I questioning each an every question that I am asking myself? Wait ………..is this the reason why I am always blank, how I never answer a question but always question it? Am I again asking myself a question? Is it….. “STOP”…..”STOP”….”NOW THINK FEW NORMAL SENTENCES”…...”NORMAL SENTENCES”……”NORMAL SENTENCES”……..”NORMAL SENTENCES “??!!.......”NORMAL SENTENCES”??!!..... Is this again a question…??
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……. !!!!!!!!!
Wait….why am I staring myself in the mirror?…..was I thinking something?…… Why am I so blank right now??….. Why do I do this everyday…??
